Monday, July 23, 2007

Do You Know The Art Of Love?

If youre in a relationship where everyday is like Valentines Day then youve pretty much mastered the art of love. However, if youre like most people in a relationship, you might think that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Well, just in case the latter is true, Ill share a separate heart-to-heart with each of you in the spirit of Valentines Day.

Earth to Men from Mars:

Men are great at many things: lifting boxes, killing spiders, loosening jars. Valentines day is your chance to really play up your romantic side, (you know you have one). If you love someone, theres nothing more manly than letting her know it. And if you really want to put hair on your chest: show her that you love her.

In even the healthiest relationship, you and she will have different interests. She loves Formula One racing. You love daisies. This is all a great thing because if you show off a little of your feminine side, chances are you will certainly score--points, that is. She asks you--all the time--to tell her why you fell in love with her, right? Then she actually expects you to come out with a brilliant answer on the spot. Goodness, I feel for you--even Shakespeare couldnt give you a sonnet in demand. But dont worry, this Valentines Day, youre going to come up with some eloquent gesture of love that will make her want to leave Venus to come live with you on Mars. Youre probably saying to yourself, How am I going to do that? Well, allow me to warm you up to some outside-the-box ideas.

Look through the photos youve gathered throughout your time together. Find some that speak to you. Dont worry about what they say just yet. This is the manly, hunting-and-gathering part of the gesture. Once youve found the photos you like, put them in the album in no particular order. Now look at each photo and ask yourself: How does this picture remind me of why I love her? For example, if you chose a photo of her making a silly face, its probably because you love the way she makes you laugh. So write the answer on a Post-it and stick the note on the photo. Do this for all the photos. In no time at all, you will create a lasting testament to your love for her. If by chance shes a tough cookie to crumble, then plant some daisies (or her favorite flowers) so they spell out the words "I love you." This is a romantic gesture that will last an entire season and return every year--if you have a green thumb. It will surprise her as the words start to appear, and it will surprise you if it actually works.

And yes, in case youre wondering: its ok to make her think you made up your romantic gestures even if you got the ideas from an article.

Earth to Women from Venus:

Diamonds arent always a girls best friend. Youre probably saying to yourself, What are you talking about? Diamonds bring a twinkle to your eye, when your significant other cannot. However, diamonds cant give you backrubs, kill spiders, or open jars. It is truly rewarding to be with your significant other when you both click, are on the same page, on the same level intellectually, and can make each other laugh. Thats when hes your best friend and diamonds dont compare. Diamonds are said to be forever, but when both of you are using your minds, hearts, and uniqueness to have a romantic future together, thats what really lasts. So this Valentines Day, youre going to come up with some cute and sexy performance of love that will make him want to leave Mars to come live with you in Venus. You probably already have some outside-the-box ideas of your own, (you go girl!). However, if youre stuck for ideas, please allow me to warm you up to a few of mine.

Get home well before he does if its a workday. Gather all your lingerie and use them to shape hearts trailing from the front door, into the bedroom and onto the bed. Leave a note on the bed that says "Pizza is on its way and cold beer is in the fridge." Make sure the pizza is delivered before he gets home because youll need to put on some sexy lingerie and actually deliver the pizza yourself. Time it so you wait outside the house and leave him to discover the trail of lingerie and the note when he returns. Hell be disappointed not to find you at home, but thats when you ring the doorbell with the pizza in hand, sexy lingerie and all. You get the idea. Have fun, use your imagination and make this work however you prefer.

Some of you may feel like this is a little too much work. Dont worry, you can simplify the idea. Men are much easier to please than you think and would be just as happy if you cut to the chase, skip the opening act and jump to the part where you show up in sexy lingerie (save the pizza and beer for later). After all, just think about it: Pizza? Beer? You? in sexy lingerie? Hockey night in Canada will have to get in line.

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